Book: How to Talk So Kids Can Learn At Home and In School
I just got this book from a used books bookstore and its full of useful information. I highly recommend it to any parent/teacher who wants to inspire kids to be self-directed, self-disciplined, and responsive to the wonders of learning. Here are the main points from the book.
How to Talk So Kids Can Learn At Home and In School by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish.
ISBN: 0684824728 (paperback)
Chapter 1: Children need to have their feelings acknowledged.
1. Identify the child's feelings.
2. Acknowledge the child's feelings with a sound or word.
3. Give the child in fantasy what you can't give him in reality.
4. Accept the child's feelings even as you stop unacceptable behavior.
Chapter 2: Engaging Cooperation-Instead of questioning and criticizing, you can:
1. Describe the problem.
2. Give information.
3. Offer a choice.
4. Say it with a word or gesture.
5. Describe what you feel.
6. Put it in writing.
7. Be playful (use another word or accent).
Chapter 3: Alternatives to punishment-Instead of threatening punishment, you can:
1. Point out a way to be helpful.
2. Express your strong disapproval (without attacking character).
3. State your expectations.
4. Show the child how to make amends.
5. Offer a choice.
6. Let the child experience the consequences of his behavior.
Chapter 4: Problem Solving
1. Listen to the child's feelings and needs.
2. Summarize the child's point of view.
3. Express your feelings and needs.
4. Invite the child to brainstorm with you.
5. Write down all ideas-without evaluating.
6. Together decide which ideas you don't like, which you do, and how you plan to put them into action.
Chapter 5: Helpful Praise/Constructive Responses-Instead of evaluating, you can:
1. Describe what you see or hear.
2. Describe what you feel.
Instead of criticizing, you can:
3. Point out what needs to be done.
Chapter 6: Freeing a Child from Playing a Role-Instead of labeling a child, you can:
1. Look for opportunities to show the child a new picture of herself.
2. Put a child in a situation where she can see herself differently.
3. Let the child overhear you say something positive about her.
4. Model the behavior you'd like to see.
5. Remind the child of her past accomplishments.
6. State your feelings and/or expectations.
Chapter 7: The Ideal Conference-Instead of starting with what's wrong,
1. Start by describing something right.
2. Describe what the child needs to do.
3. Share pertinent information.
4. Describe what has worked at home or in school.
5. Develop a plan together.
6. End the conference with a positive statement that can be repeated to the child.
7. Follow through with the plan.
How to Talk So Kids Can Learn At Home and In School by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish.
ISBN: 0684824728 (paperback)
Chapter 1: Children need to have their feelings acknowledged.
1. Identify the child's feelings.
2. Acknowledge the child's feelings with a sound or word.
3. Give the child in fantasy what you can't give him in reality.
4. Accept the child's feelings even as you stop unacceptable behavior.
Chapter 2: Engaging Cooperation-Instead of questioning and criticizing, you can:
1. Describe the problem.
2. Give information.
3. Offer a choice.
4. Say it with a word or gesture.
5. Describe what you feel.
6. Put it in writing.
7. Be playful (use another word or accent).
Chapter 3: Alternatives to punishment-Instead of threatening punishment, you can:
1. Point out a way to be helpful.
2. Express your strong disapproval (without attacking character).
3. State your expectations.
4. Show the child how to make amends.
5. Offer a choice.
6. Let the child experience the consequences of his behavior.
Chapter 4: Problem Solving
1. Listen to the child's feelings and needs.
2. Summarize the child's point of view.
3. Express your feelings and needs.
4. Invite the child to brainstorm with you.
5. Write down all ideas-without evaluating.
6. Together decide which ideas you don't like, which you do, and how you plan to put them into action.
Chapter 5: Helpful Praise/Constructive Responses-Instead of evaluating, you can:
1. Describe what you see or hear.
2. Describe what you feel.
Instead of criticizing, you can:
3. Point out what needs to be done.
Chapter 6: Freeing a Child from Playing a Role-Instead of labeling a child, you can:
1. Look for opportunities to show the child a new picture of herself.
2. Put a child in a situation where she can see herself differently.
3. Let the child overhear you say something positive about her.
4. Model the behavior you'd like to see.
5. Remind the child of her past accomplishments.
6. State your feelings and/or expectations.
Chapter 7: The Ideal Conference-Instead of starting with what's wrong,
1. Start by describing something right.
2. Describe what the child needs to do.
3. Share pertinent information.
4. Describe what has worked at home or in school.
5. Develop a plan together.
6. End the conference with a positive statement that can be repeated to the child.
7. Follow through with the plan.
posted by Jiru at
4:43 PM
