Teaching Kids to Communicate Better
The following extracts from an article is from this web site:
Nadine, the mom of three-year-old Curtis, asked my advice about an incident that happened at Curtis’ family day care site recently. Nadine explained that Curtis was riding a tricycle and he bumped into another child, who then fell off his bike. The teacher made Curtis sit on the steps for a time-out. Later Curtis was back on a trike, and this time he bumped into a little girl named Madeline, who fell off her tricycle and got a bloody nose. The teacher then told Curtis that he couldn’t ride at all anymore. Nadine asked me, “Is this a good way to teach Curtis how to get along with other kids?”
When Curtis got back on the tricycle the second time, he did just what he’d done earlier. The time-out hadn’t given him any new ideas about what to do instead of driving into other kids. What Curtis needed in this situation was to learn how to interact more positively with other children. Three-year-olds like Curtis tend to focus on only one thing at a time and don’t yet think logically about cause and effect, making it possible to crash into another child without any real understanding of the hurt this could cause. Children Curtis’s age need adults to point out, in concrete terms that make sense to them, how their actions affect others. This kind of intervention can help children develop empathy and caring and build awareness and skill about how to get along with others.
After first helping Madeline, the teacher could have brought Curtis over and said in a matter-of-fact voice without blame, “Curtis, Madeline got hurt and her nose was bleeding. She got hurt when you bumped into her. Can you do anything to help her feel better—can you say any words to help her?” The teacher might also have asked Madeline, “Do you want to say anything to Curtis?” or, “What can Curtis do to help you feel better?” Asking questions like these can stimulate children’s thinking and encourage them to invent for themselves the words to say, helping them build communication skills in a meaningful way.
When we send children to time out as Curtis’ teacher did, we aren’t giving them any new ideas or skills for how to get along with others. Especially today, as we see so many children in great need of learning social and emotional skills, we can do a lot to foster this critical learning by intervening in ways that encourage skill building. And as research now tells us, we’ll not only be helping children become more socially competent, we’ll be giving them tools that will increase their chances for academic success in school. A definitive meta-analysis of more than one hundred studies showed that students who had SEL not only got along better with others, but also learned more effectively and had higher grades and achievement test scores (Weissberg et al, 2007).
Although I am trying hard to 'listen' to DD1 when she speaks and be patient with her, sometimes it is just too tiring for me to do so when I am taking care of DD2. I always admire fantastic parents who have tons of patience while raising four or more children. Allah SWT willing I will try to use the above method with DD1 instead of using time-out.
Nadine, the mom of three-year-old Curtis, asked my advice about an incident that happened at Curtis’ family day care site recently. Nadine explained that Curtis was riding a tricycle and he bumped into another child, who then fell off his bike. The teacher made Curtis sit on the steps for a time-out. Later Curtis was back on a trike, and this time he bumped into a little girl named Madeline, who fell off her tricycle and got a bloody nose. The teacher then told Curtis that he couldn’t ride at all anymore. Nadine asked me, “Is this a good way to teach Curtis how to get along with other kids?”
When Curtis got back on the tricycle the second time, he did just what he’d done earlier. The time-out hadn’t given him any new ideas about what to do instead of driving into other kids. What Curtis needed in this situation was to learn how to interact more positively with other children. Three-year-olds like Curtis tend to focus on only one thing at a time and don’t yet think logically about cause and effect, making it possible to crash into another child without any real understanding of the hurt this could cause. Children Curtis’s age need adults to point out, in concrete terms that make sense to them, how their actions affect others. This kind of intervention can help children develop empathy and caring and build awareness and skill about how to get along with others.
After first helping Madeline, the teacher could have brought Curtis over and said in a matter-of-fact voice without blame, “Curtis, Madeline got hurt and her nose was bleeding. She got hurt when you bumped into her. Can you do anything to help her feel better—can you say any words to help her?” The teacher might also have asked Madeline, “Do you want to say anything to Curtis?” or, “What can Curtis do to help you feel better?” Asking questions like these can stimulate children’s thinking and encourage them to invent for themselves the words to say, helping them build communication skills in a meaningful way.
When we send children to time out as Curtis’ teacher did, we aren’t giving them any new ideas or skills for how to get along with others. Especially today, as we see so many children in great need of learning social and emotional skills, we can do a lot to foster this critical learning by intervening in ways that encourage skill building. And as research now tells us, we’ll not only be helping children become more socially competent, we’ll be giving them tools that will increase their chances for academic success in school. A definitive meta-analysis of more than one hundred studies showed that students who had SEL not only got along better with others, but also learned more effectively and had higher grades and achievement test scores (Weissberg et al, 2007).
Although I am trying hard to 'listen' to DD1 when she speaks and be patient with her, sometimes it is just too tiring for me to do so when I am taking care of DD2. I always admire fantastic parents who have tons of patience while raising four or more children. Allah SWT willing I will try to use the above method with DD1 instead of using time-out.
Labels: parenting
posted by Jiru at
6:53 AM
