Entitlement vs. Earning: How to Avoid Harmful Help as a Parent

Really good article about letting our children become wiser through appropriate struggles and hardship.

I have to thank my mother for getting me my first job as a book store assistant when I was 12 years old. I appreciated hard earned money more after that experience.

Entitlement vs. Earning: How to Avoid Harmful Help as a Parent

http://www.gatherlittlebylittle.com/2008/05/entitlement-vs-earning-how-to-avoid-harmful-help-as-a-parent/

There’s a story about a boy who came from a wealthy family. His father had built a large, multimillion-dollar business from the ground up. As this father approached retirement, he brought his son into his office and told him that he wanted him to take over his company. The son was excited to take over his father’s multimillion-dollar empire and asked, “When are you going to give it to me?” The father replied, “I am not going to give you anything, you must earn it.” The son replied, “How am I supposed to do that?”

The father answered, “First, you must earn $10,000 to purchase a small portion of ownership in the company. After this is accomplished you will get your next instruction.” As the son left the house to being his quest, his mother grabbed him and thrust $10,000 into his hand and told him to give the money to his father. Thrilled by his good fortune, he ran to find his father.

His dad was sitting by the fireplace reading a book. The son approached his father and said, “Dad, Dad, here’s $10,000 for the business.” Without even looking up, the father grabbed the $10,000 and tossed it in the fire and watched it burn. The son stood frozen in amazement. As the money burned, the father said, “Come back when you have earned the money!”

As he left the room, his mother once again thrust $10,000 into his hand. This time she instructed him that he needed to be more convincing in selling his father on the idea that he had actually worked for the money. So the boy scuffed himself up a little, jogged around the block a few times, and then went to find his father again.

His father was again sitting in front of the fireplace reading a book. The boy approached his father and said, “It sure is tough earning money. Here’s the $10,000. I really do want to own the business.” Once again the father took the $10,000, and without even looking up, tossed the money in the fireplace. As the money burned, the son asked, “How did you know I didn’t earn the money?” The father replied, “It is easy to lose or spend money that is not your own.”

At this point, the son realized he wasn’t going to get the business unless he actually earned the $10,000. He wanted the business, so when his mother offered him money again, he declined her offer. He went out and picked up some odd jobs. His jobs required him to get up early and stay up late, but he worked and worked until he finally earned $10,000.

Proudly, he walked into his father and presented him with the money. Like before, his father was sitting by the fire reading a book. Again the father took the money and threw it in the fire. As the money hit the flames, the son dove to the floor and risking burns and pain stuck his hands into the fire and pulled out the $10,000.

The father looked his son in the eyes and said, “I see you really did earn the money this time.”