Extracts from Mom's Bathtub Reader

"Bitter are the tears of a child: Sweeten them.
Deep are the thoughts of a child: Quiet them.
Sharp is the grief of a child: Take it from him.
Soft is the heart of a child: Do not harden it."
- Pamela Glenconner

"The reason why mothers are more devoted to their children than fathers: it is that they suffer more in giving them birth and are more certain that they are their own." - Aristotle

"A mother is a person who seeing there are only four pieces of pies for five people, promptly announces she never did care for pie." - Tenneva Jordan

"The heart of a mother is a deep abyss at the bottom of which you will always find forgiveness." - Honore de Balzac

"It is not what you do for your children but what you have taught them to do for themselves that will make them successful human being." - Ann Landers

"My mother's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it." - Buddy Hackett

"A mother is the truest friend we have, when trials, heavy and sudden, fall upon us; when adversity takes the place of prosperity; when friends who rejoice with us in our sunshine, desert us when troubles thicken around us, still will she cling to us, and endeavor by her kind percepts and counsels to dissipate the clouds of darkness, and cause peace to return to our hearts." - Washington Irving

What's the difference between a Rottweiler and a mother? Eventually a Rottweiler will let go.

Did you hear about the cannibal mom? She had a husband and ate kids.