List of Fake Websites

http://www.bigredhair.com/boilerplate/index.html
http://web.utk.edu/~blyons/
http://www.retroweb.com/lynchburg/attractions/main.html
http://fvza.org/
http://zapatopi.net/treeoctopus.html
http://www.mcwhortle.com/
http://www.lme.mnsu.edu/newhartford/newhtfd.html
http://www.dream-dollars.com/
http://www.dearauntnettie.com/gallery/index.htm
http://www.dearauntnettie.com/museum/index.htm
http://www.museumofhoaxes.com/hoaxsites.html (Listing of Hoax Websites)
http://www.villainsupply.com/index1.html
http://lme.mankato.msus.edu/mankato/mankato.html
http://www.macthoy.org/

"I don't really care how time is reckoned so long as there is some agreement about it, but I object to being told that I am saving daylight when my reason tells me that I am doing nothing of the kind. I even object to the implication that I am wasting something valuable if I stay in bed after the sun has risen. As an admirer of moonlight I resent the bossy insistence of those who want to reduce my time for enjoying it. At the back of the Daylight Saving scheme I detect the bony, blue-fingered hand of Puritanism, eager to push people into bed earlier, and get them up earlier, to make them healthy, wealthy and wise in spite of themselves."

(Robertson Davies, The Diary of Samuel Marchbanks, 1947, XIX, Sunday.)

"A site for those who refuse to let go of Good Old Windows 95"
http://www.95isalive.com/

Why We Love Children--

Why We Love Children--

1. A kindergarten pupil told his teacher he'd found a cat, but it was dead.

"How do you know that the cat was dead?" she asked her pupil.

"Because I pissed in its ear and it didn't move," answered the child innocently.

You did WHAT ? ! ?" the teacher exclaimed in surprise.

"You know,"explained the boy, "I leaned over and went 'Pssst!' and it didn't move."

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2. A small boy is sent to bed by his father.
Five minutes later....."Da-ad...."

"What?"

"I'm thirsty. Can you bring drink of water?"

"No, You had your chance. Lights out."

Five minutes later: "Da-aaaad....."

"WHAT?"

"I'm THIRSTY. Can I have a drink of water??"

I told you NO! If you ask again, I'll have to spank you!!"

Five minutes later......"Daaaa-aaaad....."

"WHAT!"

"When you come in to spank me, can you bring a drink of water?"
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3. An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into mischief, finally asked him "How do you expect to get into heaven?"

The boy thought it over and said, "Well, I'll run in and out and in and out and keep slamming the door until St. Peter says, 'For Heaven's sa! ke, Dylan, come in or stay out!'"

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4. One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her son into bed.

She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice, "Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?"

The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. "I can't dear," she said. "I have to sleep in Daddy's room."

A long silence was broken at last by his shaky little voice: "The big sissy."

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5. When I was six months pregnant with my third child, my three year old came into the room when I was just getting ready to get into the shower. She said, "Mommy, you are getting fat!"

I replied, "Yes, honey, remember Mommy has a baby growing in her tummy."

"I know," she replied, but what's growing in your butt?"
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6. A little boy was doing his math homework. He said to himself, "Two plus five, that son of a bitch is seven.

Three plus six, that son of a bitch is nine...."

His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, "What are you doing?" The little boy answered, "I'm doing my math homework, Mom."

"And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?" the mother asked.

"Yes," he answered.

Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher the next day, "What are you teaching my son in math?"

The teacher replied, "Right now, we are learning addition."

The mother asked, "And are you teaching them to say two plus two, that son of a bitch is four?"

After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered, "What I taught them was, two plus two, THE SUM OF WHICH, is four."
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7. One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of Chicken Little to her class. She came to the part of the story where Chicken Little tried to warn the farmer. She read, ".... and so Chicken Little went up to the farmer and said, "The sky is falling, the sky is falling!"

The teacher paused then asked the class, "And what do you think that farmer said?"

One little girl raised her hand and said, "I think he said: 'Holy Crap! A talking chicken!'"

The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes.
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8. A certain little girl, when asked her name, would reply, "I'm Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter."

Her mother told her this was wrong, she must say, "I'm Jane Sugarbrown."

The Vicar spoke to her in Sunday School, and said, "Aren't you Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter?"

She replied, "I thought I was, but mother says I'm not."
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9. A little girl asked her mother, "Can I go outside and play with the boys?"

Her mother replied, "No, you can't play with the boys, they're too rough."

The little girl thought about it for a few moments and asked, "If I can find a smooth one, can I play with him?"
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10. A little girl goes to the barber shop with her father. She stands next to the barber chair, while her dad gets his hair cut, eating a snack cake. The barber says to her, "Sweetheart, you're gonna get hair on your Twinkie."

She says, "Yes, I know, and I'm gonna get boobs too."

Life and Coffee

Life and Coffee

When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and the coffee.

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls.

He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.

So the professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous "Yes."

The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.

"Now," said the professor, as the laughter subsided, "I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life."

"The golf ball are the important things--your family, your children, your health, your friends, your favorite passions--things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full."

"The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house, your car."

"The sand is everything else--the small stuff."

"If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued, "there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you. Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness."

"Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your partner out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal.

"Take care of the golf balls first, the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand."

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented. The professor smiled. "I'm glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend."

Applied Management Science: Making Good Strategic Decisions
http://home.ubalt.edu/ntsbarsh/index.html

Word of the Day
===============

IMPEDIMENT

Main Entry: im·ped·i·ment
Pronunciation: im-'pe-d&-m&nt
Function: noun
1 : something that impedes; especially : an organic obstruction to speech
2 : a bar or hindrance (as lack of sufficient age) to a lawful marriage

Where do you draw the line between disrespect and preserving self dignity when you are confronted about your religion by the elderly?

Education is not filling a bucket but lighting a fire
-William Butler Yeats

I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
Mark Twain (1835 - 1910)

Education is the ability to listen to almost anything without losing your temper or your self-confidence.
Robert Frost (1874 - 1963)

Perhaps the most valuable result of all education is the ability to make yourself do the thing you have to do, when it ought to be done, whether you like it or not.
Thomas H. Huxley (1825 - 1895)

The secret of all success is to know how to deny yourself. Prove that you can control yourself, and you are an educated man; and without this all other education is good for nothing.
R. D. Hitchcock

Education is the best provision for old age.
Aristotle (384 BC - 322 BC), from Diogenes Laertius, Lives of Eminent Philosophers

It is only the ignorant who despise education.
Publilius Syrus (~100 BC), Maxims

"Friends" unofficial web site (check out the magna doodle page!)
http://members.home.nl/rody.klaassen2/STUFF/magnadoodle.html

The CCB Storytelling Concert (audio files)
http://leep.lis.uiuc.edu/guest_lecturers.html

Toys for Kids with Differing Abilities
http://kalibneil.tripod.com/Toys.htm