Life's like that!

June 29, 2004

I just don't get it. Why am I thinking of applying for a job up North when I know that my husband prefers to stay in Texas? Part of my restless soul is cracking the whip on my back, telling me to get on the road and live the wild wild life of the traveler. But part of my tired soul says that enough is enough. I guess now that I'm married, it's not about only me anymore. It's also about my husband's feelings about moving to the cold North, and having to waste unnecessary moving fees every year. Well, now that I'm saying that I'll stay put for the sake of my love, we'll just have to check back couple of months later to see if I've changed my mind :)

PowerSpeaking: How Ordinary People Can Make Extraordinary Presentations.

June 23, 2004

Please Come To Boston

Please Come To Boston
Dave Loggins

[Written by Dave Loggins]

Please come to Boston for the springtime
I'm stayin' here with some friends and they've got lotsa room
You can sell your paintings on the sidewalk
By a café here I hope to be workin' soon
Please come to Boston
She said "No, would you come home to me"

And she said, "Hey ramblin' boy now won't cha settle down
Boston ain't your kinda town
There ain't no gold and there ain't nobody like me
I'm the number one fan of the man from Tennessee"

Please come to Denver with the snowfall
We'll move up into the mountains so far that we can't be found
And throw "I love you" echoes down the canyon
And then lie awake at night till they come back around
Please come to Denver
She said "no, Boy, would you come home to me"

And she said, "Hey ramblin' boy why don't cha settle down
Denver ain't your kinda town
There ain't no gold and there ain't nobody like me
'Cause I'm the number one fan of the man from Tennessee"

Now this drifter's world goes 'round and 'round
And I doubt that it's ever gonna stop
But of all the dreams I've lost or found
And all that I ain't got
I still need to lean to
Somebody I can sing to

Please come to LA to live forever
California life alone is just too hard to build
I live in a house that looks out over the ocean
And there's some stars that fell from the sky
Livin' up on the hill
Please come to LA
She just said "no, Boy, won't you come home to me"
And she said, "hey ramblin' boy why don't cha settle down
LA can't be your kinda town
There ain't no gold and there ain't nobody like me
No, no, I'm the number one fan of the man from Tennessee"

"I'm the number one fan of the man from Tennessee"



June 20, 2004

Funny Public Announcements

Funny Public announcements
(Public service announcements around the world.)

USA: "It's ten o'clock. Do you know where your children are?"

Italy: "It's ten o'clock. Do you know where your husband is?"

France: "It's ten o'clock. Do you know where your wife is?"

Poland: "It's ten o'clock. Do you know what time it is?"


Funny and Real Advertisements

Funny and Real Advertisements

(Supposedly, these are actual advertisements that have appeared in papers across the country.)

Lost: small apricot poodle. Reward. Neutered. Like one of the family.

A superb and inexpensive restaurant. Fine food expertly served by waitresses in appetizing forms.

Dinner Special -- Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00.

For sale: an antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers.

Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home, too.

Tired of cleaning yourself? Let me do it.

Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children.

Vacation Special: have your home exterminated.

If you think you've seen everything in Paris, visit the Pere Lachasis Cemetery. It boasts such immortals as Moliere, Jean de la Fontain, and Chopin.

Mt. Kilimanjaro, the breathtaking backdrop for the Serena Lodge. Swim in the lovely pool while you drink it all in.

Toaster: A gift that every member of the family appreciates. Automatically burns toast.

Sheer stockings. Designed for fancy dress, but so serviceable that lots of women wear nothing else.

Stock up and save. Limit: one.

Man, honest. Will take anything.

Man wanted to work in dynamite factory. Must be willing to travel.

UsedCars: Why go elsewhere to be cheated? Come here first!

Wanted: Hair-cutter. Excellent growth potential.

Wanted. Man to take care of cow that does not smoke or drink.

Our experienced Mom will care of your child. Fenced yard, meals, and smacks included.

Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once, you'll never go anywhere again.

Illiterate? Write today for free help.

Wanted. Widower with school-age children requires person to assume general housekeeping duties. Must be capable of contributing to growth of family.

Mixing bowl set designed to please a cook with round bottom for efficient beating.

And now, the Superstore--unequaled in size, unmatched in variety, unrivaled inconvenience.

We will oil your sewing machine and adjust tension in your home for $1.00.


Poem of English

Poem of English

Dearest creature in creation,
Study English pronunciation.
I will teach you in my verse
Sounds like corpse, corps, horse, and worse.
I will keep you, Suzy, busy,
Make your head with heat grow dizzy.
Tear in eye, your dress will tear.
So shall I! Oh hear my prayer.

Just compare heart, beard, and heard,
Dies and diet, lord and word,
Sword and sward, retain and Britain.
(Mind the latter, how it's written.)
Now I surely will not plague you
With such words as plaque and ague.
But be careful how you speak:
Say break and steak, but bleak and streak;
Cloven, oven, how and low,
Script, receipt, show, poem, and toe.

Hear me say, devoid of trickery,
Daughter, laughter, and Terpsichore,
Typhoid, measles, topsails, aisles,
Exiles, similes, and reviles;
Scholar, vicar, and cigar,
Solar, mica, war and far;
One, anemone, Balmoral,
Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel;
Gertrude, German, wind and mind,
Scene, Melpomene, mankind.

Billet does not rhyme with ballet,
Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet.
Blood and flood are not like food,
Nor is mould like should and would.
Viscous, viscount, load and broad,
Toward, to forward, to reward.
And your pronunciation's OK
When you correctly say croquet,
Rounded, wounded, grieve and sieve,
Friend and fiend, alive and live.

Ivy, privy, famous; clamour
And enamour rhyme with hammer.
River, rival, tomb, bomb, comb,
Doll and roll and some and home.
Stranger does not rhyme with anger,
Neither does devour with clangour.
Souls but foul, haunt but aunt,
Font, front, wont, want, grand, and grant,
Shoes, goes, does. Now first say finger,
And then singer, ginger, linger,
Real, zeal, mauve, gauze, gouge and gauge,
Marriage, foliage, mirage, and age.

Query does not rhyme with very,
Nor does fury sound like bury.
Dost, lost, post and doth, cloth, loth.
Job, nob, bosom, transom, oath.
Though the differences seem little,
We say actual but victual.
Refer does not rhyme with deafer.
Foeffer does, and zephyr, heifer.
Mint, pint, senate and sedate;
Dull, bull, and George ate late.
Scenic, Arabic, Pacific,
Science, conscience, scientific.

Liberty, library, heave and heaven,
Rachel, ache, moustache, eleven.
We say hallowed, but allowed,
People, leopard, towed, but vowed.
Mark the differences, moreover,
Between mover, cover, clover;
Leeches, breeches, wise, precise,
Chalice, but police and lice;
Camel, constable, unstable,
Principle, disciple, label.

Petal, panel, and canal,
Wait, surprise, plait, promise, pal.
Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, chair,
Senator, spectator, mayor.
Tour, but our and succour, four.
Gas, alas, and Arkansas.
Sea, idea, Korea, area,
Psalm, Maria, but malaria.
Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean.
Doctrine, turpentine, marine.

Compare alien with Italian,
Dandelion and battalion.
Sally with ally, yea, ye,
Eye, I, ay, aye, whey, and key.
Say aver, but ever, fever,
Neither, leisure, skein, deceiver.
Heron, granary, canary.
Crevice and device and aerie.

Face, but preface, not efface.
Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bass.
Large, but target, gin, give, verging,
Ought, out, joust and scour, scourging.
Ear, but earn and wear and tear
Do not rhyme with here but ere.
Seven is right, but so is even,
Hyphen, roughen, nephew Stephen,
Monkey, donkey, Turk and jerk,
Ask, grasp, wasp, and cork and work.

Pronunciation -- think of Psyche!
Is a paling stout and spikey?
Won't it make you lose your wits,
Writing groats and saying grits?
It's a dark abyss or tunnel:
Strewn with stones, stowed, solace, gunwale,
Islington and Isle of Wight,
Housewife, verdict and indict.

Finally, which rhymes with enough --
Though, through, plough, or dough, or cough?
Hiccough has the sound of cup.
My advice is to give up!


Cards You'll Never See In Hallmark

"Looking back over the years that we've been together, I can't help but wonder:
What was I thinking?"

"Congratulations on your wedding day! Too bad no one likes your wife."

"How could two people as beautiful you... have such an ugly baby?"

"I've always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love......... After
having met you, I've changed my mind."

"I must admit, you brought Religion in my life... I never believed in Hell
until I met you."

"As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am....... that you're not here
to ruin it for me."

"As you grow older, Mum, I think of all the gifts you've given me. Like the need
for therapy..."

"Thanks for being a part of my life!!! I never knew what evil was before this!"

"Before you go,......... I would like you to take this knife out of my back. You'll probably need it again."

"Someday I hope to get married....... but not to you."

"You look great for your age....... Almost Lifelike!"

"When we were together, you always said you'd die for me......... Now that we've
broken up, I think it's time you kept your promise."

"I knew the day would come when you would leave me for my best friend....... So here's
his leash, water bowl and chew toys."

"We have been friends for a very long time. What do you say we call it quits?"

"I'm so miserable without you.............
It's almost like you're here."

"Congratulations on your new bundle of joy! Did you ever find out who the father was?"

"You are such a good friend that if we were on a sinking ship and there was only one
life jacket.... I'd miss you heaps and think of you often."



Minimalist style - how to create it

Minimalist style - how to create it

In contrast to traditional interior design which is all about filling or ‘decorating’ space, minimalism is about taking away, reducing elements to the bare minimum, preserving empty space and making us more aware of that space.

Many of today’s minimalist interiors trace their origins back to the Bauhaus Design School which originated in pre-WWII Germany, and dictated that ‘form follow function’. It disdained ornamentation or decoration. There is also a strong Japanese aesthetic in the simple lines and empty spaces of many minimalist homes.

This ‘less is more’ philosophy places greater emphasis on underlying shape and structure. Walls, floors, simple surfaces and the play of light on surfaces become important design elements in themselves – eliminating the need to cover or decorate them.

More than just a design style, minimalism dictates a certain lifestyle. It is essentially ‘anti-clutter’. Minimalism demands that ‘stuff’ is eliminated or at least hidden away. This is not a design aesthetic to be embraced by hoarders, collectors, or people who aren’t good at putting things away. It’s perfect for people who like ‘everything in its place’. Good storage is probably the first prerequisite to achieve a minimalist look and the illusion of greater space.

Colour is used sparingly. Wall colours tend to be neutral, with colour used to draw the eye to specific elements, to create a dramatic contrast, or to make subtle connections between architectural forms. White, in it’s many versions, creates a ‘blank canvas’ backdrop and helps to achieve the illusion of greater space.

In the absence of colour, light is used to create visual interest highlighting areas and creating dramatic shadows to emphasise form. Natural light is often filtered through screens, louvres or trees. Careful interior lighting is used to emphasise shapes and forms – a good example of this is seen in the Moyle House where careful lighting of the stairs casts strong shadow lines onto the wall below, emphasising the sculptural form of the stairs themselves.

Furniture is kept to a minimum. This is not the place for the ornate or overstuffed. On the other hand, there is no reason why comfort should be sacrificed to style. A well designed sofa or chair will offer both.

Today, the minimalist aesthetic extends not only to furniture, but to many household appliances. The clean lines of today’s digital kitchen appliances are well suited to minimalist homes. Fridges tend to be concealed behind kitchen cabinetry. TV sets and other electronic gadgetry can also be concealed – even the most beautifully designed TVs don’t add much to the minimalist look of a room.

The basic rule is ‘restraint’, but that’s not to say that minimalism need be cold and sterile. There’s plenty of room for personality, colour, drama – and comfort. It’s worth bearing in mind that in a home using raw, stark surfaces, good heating and warm lighting are crucial.



Bill Gates Joke

E-mail Joke

Bill Gates meets with the chairman of General Motors. "If automotive technology had kept pace with computer technology over the past few decades," boasts Gates, "you would now be driving a V-32 instead of a V-8, and it would have a top speed of 10,000 miles per hour. Or, you could have an economy car that weighs 30 pounds and gets a thousand miles to a gallon of gas. In either case, the sticker price of a new car would be less than $50."

"Sure," says the GM chairman. "But would you really want to drive a car that crashes four times a day?"

Source: cartoons/cartoons2-1/


A Short History of Medicine

A Short History of Medicine

2000 B.C. "Here, eat this root."
1000 B.C. "That root is heathen, say this prayer."
1850 A.D. "That prayer is superstition, drink this potion."
1940 A.D. "That potion is snake oil, swallow this pill."
1985 A.D. "That pill is ineffective, take this antibiotic."
2000 A.D. "That antibiotic is artificial. Here, eat this root."

Source: cartoons/cartoons2-1/


Letter to Employees

Dear Staff,

Please be advised that there are NEW rules and regulations implemented to raise the efficiency of our company in 2004.


It is advised that you come to work driving a car according to your salary. If we see you driving a Honda, we assume you are doing well financially and therefore you do not need a raise.

If you drive a 10 years old car or taking public transportation, we assume that you must have lots of savings & money therefore you do not need a raise.

If you drive a proton, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise too.


Each employee will receive 104 Annual Leave days a year. They are called Saturdays & Sundays.


1) Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch as they need to eat more so that they can look healthy.
2) Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure.
3) Fat people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim Fast and take a diet pill.


We will no longer accept a doctor? Is MC Cert proof of sickness? No. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.


Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilets. There is now a strict 3-minute time limit in the cubicles. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the door will open and a picture will be taken.

After your second offence, your picture will be posted on the company
bulletin board under the "Chronic Offenders" category.


As long as you are an employee here, you need all your organs. You should not consider removing anything. We hired you intact. To have something removed constitutes a breach of employment.


All personal internet usage will be recorded and charges will be deducted from your bonus (if any) and if we decide not to give you any, charges will be deducted from your salary. (note: RM2.00 per minute). Just for the record, 73% of the staff will not be entitle for any salary for the next 3 months as their internet charges has exceeded their 3 months salary.

Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplation, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere.

Have a nice day.

The Director


June 12, 2004

FlubTitles: It's not what you say, but how you say it.

FlubTitles: It's not what you say, but how you say it.

Mind your saliva.
You'll find it very nice after a sip.
Have you drunk very much in day time?
Shit! Am I very ugly now?
That woman's ass isn't big enough, it's hard for her to bear baby.
All ill-fated jinxes have come.
If they can't come back, we won't feel ease.
Sir, the top is deadly sealed up!




:@ I just ate a lemon.
:-# I just gor braces.
:-X Before my nose surgery.
:-x After my nose surgery.
%-) I'm a cubist painter.
{:-) How do you like my new toupee?

(Source: Reader's Digest. April 2004)


Choose Your Ideal Man/Woman

June 10, 2004

A Contradicting Poem

A contradicting poem

Early one morning and late one night
2 dead boys were having a fight
Back to back they face each other
Drew their swords and shot each other
The 2 deaf policemen who heard the noise
Came and kill the 2 dead boys

- Lampe


June 03, 2004

Inspiring Poem and Quotes

I keep six honest serving men
They taught me all I knew
Their names are What and Why and When
And How and Where and Who
- Rudyard Kipling

It is better to know some of the questions than all of the answers.
- James Thurber

You cannot look in a new direction by looking harder in the same direction.
- Edward de Bono

A ship is safe in the harbour but that is not what ships are for.
- Albert J Nimeth

It is better to fail in originality than to succeed in imitation.
- Herman Melville

Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson


The leader's guide to lateral thinking skills

The key elements of creating a truly innovative and entrepreneurial organization can be summarized in the following eight steps:

1. Paint an inspiring vision.
2. Build an open, receptive, questioning culture.
3. Empower people at all levels.
4. Set goals, deadlines and measurements for innovation.
5. Use creativity techniques to generate a large number of ideas.
6. Review, combine, filter and select ideas.
7. Prototype the promising proposals.
8. Analyze results and roll out the successful projects.

(Source: Sloane, Paul. The leader's guide to lateral thinking skills: powerful problem-solving techniques to ignite your team's potential. London ; Sterling, VA : Kogan Page, 2003. p. 3)


June 02, 2004

No one is completely worthless; they can always serve as a bad example. - Unknown author

Passwords are Like Underwear

Passwords are Like Underwear

Don’t leave them lying around
Don’t re-use them
Don’t share them with friends (or IT!)
The longer, the better
Change yours often
Be mysterious


If life gives you lemon, make lemonade out of it. - Unknown author