Life's like that!

March 30, 2004

UI Current LIS Clips - an electronic current awareness service! Look to Current Clips to help you stay up-to-date with the latest issues in library and information science. This free service offers thoughtful, easy-to-read summaries of the key recent publications in the field, for practicing librarians, information professionals and academics. Each issue focuses on a topic of current concern to the Library and Information community.

March 24, 2004

Electronic reviews of Science & Technology References covering Engineering, Agriculture, Medicine and Science

BOOKNews - New books in science technology and medicine

Dr. Dobb's Electronic Review of Computer Books

Dr. Dobb's Journal Programmer's Bookshelf Archive

AcqWeb's Directory of Book Reviews on the Web

March 22, 2004

Marriage Technical Support

Technical Support

Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed adistinct slow-down in the overall performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as NFL 5.0, NHL 4.3, MLB 3.0, and NBA 3.6.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, to no avail. What can I do?

Signed, Desperate


Dear Desperate:

First, keep in mind Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an Operating System.

Try to enter the command: "C:/ ITHOUGHTYOULOVEDME" to download Tears 6.2, which automatically should install Guilt 3.0.

If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5. But remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1. Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will create Snoring Loudly.

Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-law 1.0 or reinstall another Boyfriend program. These are not supported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. I personally recommend Hot Food 3.0 and Lingerie 7.7.

Good Luck, Tech Support


Funny Library Patron Policy

Funny Library Patron Policy

"It is the mission of the Temple Public Library to provide a safe, pleasant, and stress-free atmosphere for the staff of the Temple Public Library. You can help us to achieve this goal by refraining from entering the library building or grounds during the hours that the library is open. This is for your own protection, as the staff is liable to lash out involuntarily if awakened suddenly.

If you are an adult and think that you are truly in need of library services, think again. Books are for people without cable, and as for our public Internet computers, let us save you some time. No one online wants to date you either. Seriously. Look in the mirror. If you are a a child and need materials for a school assignment, just remember no one likes a smart kid, and good grades will only get you beaten up.

The library welcomes your feedback and constructive criticism. If you have any complaints or suggestions, please refer to our brochure Who is Kenny and Why Do So Many People Want to Beat Him Up? It will tell you how to get in touch with our Public Relations Officer and includes a map to his home and a description of the car he drives.

We appreciate your cooperation and thank you for helping us to make the Temple Public Library such an enjoyable place to work."



Too many people put off something that brings them joy just because they haven't thought about it, don't have it on their schedule, didn't know it was coming or are too rigid to depart from their routine.

I got to thinking one day about all those women on the Titanic who passed up dessert at dinner that fateful night in an effort to cut back. From then on, I've tried to be a little more flexible.

How many women out there will eat at home because their husband didn't suggest going out to dinner until after something had been thawed? Does the word "refrigeration" mean nothing to you?

How often have your kids dropped in to talk and sat in silence while you watched 'Jeopardy' on television?

I cannot count the times I called my sister and said, "How about going to lunch in a half hour ?" She would gas up and stammer, "I can't. I have clothes on the line. My hair is dirty. I wish I had known yesterday, I had a late breakfast, It looks like rain." And my personal favorite: "It's Monday." ...She died a few years ago. We never did have lunch

Because Americans cram so much into their lives, we tend to schedule our headaches.. We live on a sparse diet of promises we make to ourselves when all the conditions are perfect!

We'll go back and visit the grandparents when we get Stevie toilet-trained. We'll entertain when we replace the living-room carpet. We'll go on a second honeymoon when we get two more kids out of college.

Life has a way of accelerating as we get older. The days get shorter, and the list of promises to ourselves gets longer. One morning, we awaken, and all we have to show for our lives is a litany of "I'm going to," "I plan on," and "Someday, when things are settled down a bit."

When anyone calls my 'seize the moment' friend, she is open to adventure and available for trips. She keeps an open mind on new ideas. Her enthusiasm for life is contagious. You talk with her for five minutes, and you're ready to trade your bad feet for a pair of Rollerblades and skip an elevator for a bungee cord.

My lips have not touched ice cream in 10 years. I love ice cream. It's just that I might as well apply it directly to my stomach with a spatula and eliminate the digestive process. The other day, I stopped the car and bought a triple-decker. If my car had hit an iceberg on the way home, I would have died happy.

Now...go on and have a nice day. Do something you WANT to......not something on your SHOULD DO list. If you were going to die soon and had only one phone call you could make, who would you call and what would you say? And why are you waiting?

Make sure you read this to the end; you will understand why I sent this to you.

Have you ever watched kids playing on a merry go round or listened to the rain lapping on the ground? Ever followed a butterfly's erratic flight or gazed at the sun into the fading night? Do you run through each day on the fly? When you ask "How are you?" Do you hear the reply?

When the day is done, do you lie in your bed with the next hundred chores running through your head? Ever told your child, "We'll do it tomorrow." And in your haste, not see his sorrow? Ever lost touch? Let a good friendship die? Just call to say "Hi"?

When you worry and hurry through your day, it is like an unopened gift....Thrown away... Life is not a race. Take it slower. Hear the music before the song is over

It's National Friendship Week. Show your friends how much you care. Send this to everyone you consider a FRIEND. If it comes back to you, then you'll know you have a circle of friends.

To those I have sent this to.... I LOVE you & cherish our friendship.

"Life may not be the party we hoped for. but while we are here we might as well dance!"

March 21, 2004

Texas Library Association Annual Conference 2004 Keynote Speaker - Mr. Ralph Nader's website:

March 15, 2004

The funniest children's authors and illustrators

Beverly Cleary
Roald Dahl
Sid Fleischman
Steven Kellogg
James Marshall
Robert Munsch
Margie Palatini
Barbara Park
Dav Pilkey
Daniel Pinkwater
Louis Sachar
Jon Scieszka
Dr. Suess
Shel Silverstein
Janet Stevens
James Stevenson
Judith Viorst
Nadine Bernard Westcott

Reid, Rob. Something funny happened at the library : how to create humorous programs for children and young adults. Chicago, IL : American Library Association, 2003. 130-135.