Life's like that!

April 29, 2004

A Selective History of Science on Stamps @ Science and Engineering Library University at Buffalo, Buffalo, NY 14260-2200

April 28, 2004

Word of the day


Main Entry: ox·y·mo·ron
Pronunciation: "äk-sE-'mor-"än
Function: noun
Inflected Form(s): plural ox·y·mo·ra /-'mor-&/
Etymology: Late Greek oxymOron, from neuter of oxymOros pointedly foolish, from Greek oxys sharp, keen + mOros foolish
: a combination of contradictory or incongruous words (as cruel kindness); broadly : something (as a concept) that is made up of contradictory or incongruous elements
- ox·y·mo·ron·ic /-m&-'rä-nik, -mo-/ adjective
- ox·y·mo·ron·i·cal·ly /-ni-k(&-)lE/ adverb

April 27, 2004

By: Trawin, Don, Saturday Evening Post, 00489239, Jan/Feb2003, Vol. 275, Issue 1

Consider these words to the wise uttered by children seven and under.

No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.

When your mom is mad at your dad, don't let her brush your hair.

If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.

A four-year-old girl was learning to say the Lord's Prayer. She was reciting it all by herself with help from her mother. She said, "And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us some e-mail."

Never ask your three-year-old brother to hold a tomato.

School lunches stick to the wall.

Reading what people write on desks can teach you a lot.

Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.

Puppies still have bad breath even after eating a Tic-Tac.

Never hold a Dustbuster and a cat at the same time.

A father was reading Bible stories to his young son. He read, "The man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city, but his wife looked back and was turned to salt." His son asked, "What happened to the flea?"

You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.

Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.

The best place to be when you are sad is in Grandma's lap.

A three-year-old put his shoes on by himself. His mother noticed the left shoe was on the right foot. She said, "Son, your shoes are on the wrong feet." He looked up at her with a raised brow and said, "Don't kid me, Mom, I know they're my feet."

A mother and her young son returned from the grocery store and began putting away the groceries. The boy opened the box of animal crackers and spread them all over the table. "What are you doing?" his mother asked. "The box says you can't eat them if the seal is broken," the boy explained. "So I am looking for the seal."

The end of a journey, is the first step into a new adventure. - Unknown author

Native or Inhabitants of the United States

Alabama - Alabamians
Alaska - Alaskans
Arizona - Arizonians
Arkansas - Arkansans
California - Californians
Carolina, North - Carolinians
Carolina, South - Carolinians
Colorado - Coloradans
Connecticut - Nutmeggers
Dakota, North - Dakotans
Dakota, South - Dakotans
Delaware - Delawareans
Florida - Floridians
Georgia - Georgians
Hawaii - Hawaiians
Idaho - Idahoans
Illinois - Illinoisans
Indiana - Hoosiers
Iowa - Iowaians/Iowans
Kansas - Kansans
Kentucky - Kentuckians
Louisiana - Louisianians
Maine - Mainers
Maryland - Marylanders
Massachusetts - Bay Staters
Michigan - Michiganians/Michiganders
Minnesota - Minnesotans
Missisippi - Missisippians
Missouri - Missourians
Montana - Montanans
Nebraska - Nebraskans
Nevada - Nevadans
New Hampshire - New Hampshirites
New Jersey - New Jerseyites
New Mexico - New Mexicans
New York - New Yorkers
Ohio - Ohioans
Oklahoma - Okies
Oregon - Oregonians/Oregoneses
Pennsylvania - Pennsylvanians
Rhode Island - Rhode Islander
Tennessee - Tennesseans
Texas - Texans
Utah - Utahns
Vermont - Vermonters
Virginia - Virginians
Virginia, West - Virginians
Washington DC - Washintonians
Wisconsin - Wisconsinites
Wyoming - Wyomingites

April 26, 2004

Here's a look at living in Singapore through humour...

Dear Tech Support...

Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow-down in the overall performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as NFL 5.0, NHL 4.3, MLB 3.0, and NBA 3.6.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, to no avail. What can I do?

Signed, Desperate


Dear Desperate:

First, keep in mind Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an Operating System.

Try to enter the command: "C:/ ITHOUGHTYOULOVEDME" to download Tears 6.2, which automatically should install Guilt 3.0.

If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5. But remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1. Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will create Snoring Loudly.

Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-law 1.0 or reinstall another Boyfriend program. These are not supported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. I personally recommend Hot Food 3.0 and Lingerie 7.7.

Good Luck, Tech Support


April 23, 2004

One afternoon while I was visiting my library, I noticed a group of preschoolers gathered for story time. The book they were reading was THERE WAS AN OLD LADY WHO SWALLOWED A FLY.

After the librarian finished the first page, she asked the children, "Do you think she'll die?"

"Nope," a little girl in the back said. "I saw this last night on FEAR FACTOR."

Remember When?


1974: Long hair
2004: Longing for hair

1974: KEG
2004: EKG

1974: Acid rock
2004: Acid reflux

1974: Moving to California because it's cool
2004: Moving to California because it's warm

1974: Trying to look like Marlon Brando or Liz Taylor
2004: Trying NOT to look like Marlon Brando or Liz Taylor

1974: Seeds and stems
2004: Roughage

1974: Hoping for a BMW
2004: Hoping for a BM

1974: The Grateful Dead
2004: Dr. Kevorkian

1974: Going to a new, hip joint
2004: Receiving a new hip joint

1974: Rolling Stones
2004: Kidney Stones

1974: Being called into the principal's office
2004: Calling the principal's office

1974: Screw the system
2004: Upgrade the system

1974: Disco
2004: Costco

1974: Parents begging you to get your hair cut
2004: Children begging you to get their heads shaved

1974: Passing the drivers' test
2004: Passing the vision test

1974: Whatever
2004: Depends

Just in case you weren't feeling too old today, this will certainly change things. Each year the staff at Beloit College in Wisconsin puts together a list to try to give the faculty a sense of the mindset of this year's incoming freshmen. Here's this year's list:

The people who are starting college this fall across the nation were born in 1986. They are too young to remember the space shuttle blowing up.

Their lifetime has always included AIDS.

Bottle caps have always been screw off and plastic.

The CD was introduced the year they were born.

They have always had an answering machine.

They have always had cable.

They cannot fathom not having a remote control.

Jay Leno has always been on the Tonight Show.

Popcorn has always been cooked in the microwave.

They never took a swim and thought about Jaws.

They can't imagine what hard contact lenses are.

They don't know who Mork was or where he was from.

They never heard: "Where's the Beef?", "I'd walk a mile for a Camel," or "de plane Boss, de plane."

They do not care who shot J. R. and have no idea who J. R. even is.

McDonald's never came in Styrofoam containers.

They don't have a clue how to use a typewriter.

Do you feel old yet? Pass this on to the other old fogies on your list. Notice the larger type, that's for those of you who have trouble reading .


April 22, 2004

Schlosser, Eric. Fast food nation : the dark side of the all-American meal. Boston :; Houghton Mifflin, 2001. ISBN: 0395977894

Are we what we eat?
To a degree both engrossing and alarming, the story of fast food is the story of postwar Amerca. Though created by a handful of mavericks, the fast food industry has triggered the homogenization of our society. Fast food has hastened the malling of our landscape, widened the chasm between rich and poor, fueled an epidemic of obesity, and propelled the juggernaut of American cultural imperialism abroad. That's a lengthy list of charges, but Eric Schlosser makes them stick with an artful mix of first-rate reportage, wry wit, and careful reasoning.

Schlosser's myth-shattering survey stretches from the California subdivisions where the business was born to the industrial corridor along the New Jersey Turnpike where many of fast food's flavors are concocted. He hangs out with the teenagers who make the restaurants run and communes with those unlucky enough to hold America's most dangerous job -- meatpacker. He travels to Las Vegas for a giddily surreal franchisers' convention where Mikhail Gorbachev delivers the keynote address. He even ventures to England and Germany to clock the rate at which those countries are becoming fast food nations.

Along the way, Schlosser unearths a trove of fascinating, unsettling truths -- from the unholy alliance between fast food and Hollywood to the seismic changes the industry has wrought in food production, popular culture, and even real estate. He also uncovers the fast food chains' efforts to reel in the youngest, most susceptible consumers even while they hone their institutionalized exploitation of teenagers and minorities. Schlosser then turns a critical eye toward the hot topic of globalization -- a phenomenon launched by fast food.

FAST FOOD NATION is a groundbreaking work of investigation and cultural history that may change the way America thinks about the way it eats.

Sinclair, Upton, 1878-1968. The jungle. Cambridge, Mass., R. Bentley, 1971. ISBN: 0837604001
Upton Sinclair's The Jungle is a vivid portrait of life and death in a turn-of-the-century American meat-packing factory. A grim indictment that led to government regulations of the food industry, The Jungle is Sinclair's extraordinary contribution to literature and social reform.

Those who love the law and sausages should never watch either being made. - unknown author

April 21, 2004

Word of the day


Main Entry: en·nui
Pronunciation: "än-'wE
Function: noun
Etymology: French, from Old French enui annoyance, from enuier to annoy -- more at ANNOY
: a feeling of weariness and dissatisfaction : BOREDOM

Word of the day


Main Entry: nip·py
Pronunciation: 'ni-pE
Function: adjective
Inflected Form(s): nip·pi·er; -est
1 : marked by a tendency to nip
2 : brisk, quick, or nimble in movement : SNAPPY

- nip·pi·ly /'ni-p&-lE/ adverb
- nip·pi·ness /'ni-pE-n&s/ noun

April 20, 2004

Word of the day


Main Entry: flab·ber·gast
Pronunciation: 'fla-b&r-"gast
Function: transitive verb
Etymology: origin unknown
: to overwhelm with shock, surprise, or wonder : DUMBFOUND
synonym see SURPRISE
- flab·ber·gast·ing·ly /-"gas-ti[ng]-lE/ adverb

April 17, 2004

Interesting web sites about food! O-la-la!
Civil War Cookbook
Food Reference
Garlic Festival Food
Rice Web
Top Secret Recipes
Worldwide I Hate Mayonnaise Club

Cooking Demonstrations Video Clips
Keith Famie's Adventure

Food Recipes
BBC Food and Drink
Betty Crocker
Cooking Media
Martha Stewart
Swedish Chef from the Muppet Show
Star Chefs

April 12, 2004

Peep research: a study of small fluffy creatures and library usage

April 09, 2004

French and English

A French teacher was explaining to her College class that in French, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine.

House is feminine "la maison." Pencil is masculine "le crayon."

A student asked, "What gender is 'computer'?" Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups male and female-and asked them to decide for themselves whether a "computer" should be a masculine or a feminine noun. Each group was asked to give four reasons for their recommendation.

The men's group decided that "computer" should definitely be of the feminine gender (la computer) because:

1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic

2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else;

3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later review; and,

4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.

The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be masculine (Le computer) because:

1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on;

2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves;

3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem; and,

4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model.

The women won.


April 06, 2004

Self Improvement Web Sites

Mental Health Self Improvement Resources

There's no scarcity of opportunity to make a living at what you love. There is only a scarcity of resolve to make it happen. - Wayne Dyer

Yearn to understand first and to be understood second. - Beca Allen